What Do You Do with the Mad That You Feel? "Everybody wishes they had good words to use when there's been a problem in childcare. This video and training materials will give teachers good ways to talk with children, to help children understand each other's feelings, and to feel better when they've been hurt because of angry feelings."
            - Dr. Alice Sterling Honig,
            Infant/Child Development Specialist

What Do You Do with the Mad that You Feel?
Children need to find healthy ways to manage their feelings including their anger.  When children are angry that can be an especially difficult time for them and for their child care provider. 

But helping children with angry feelings is not only a concern for their early childhood years.  To succeed in school (and in the future, at their workplace and with their family life) children need to be able to deal with their anger constructively.  Getting along with others is one of the basic skills a child needs for school.  Studies on emotional intelligence tell us that people who are successful in the workplace are those who can deal with their emotions in healthy ways.  This is one of the most vital tools you can give children that they'll need all through their lives.

This 3 hour workshop from Family Communications (the production company for Mr. Roger's Neighborhood) explores anger, where it comes from, and how young children can gradually learn the self-control necessary to manage their anger and channel it into productive activity. It also suggests ways to intervene when children act out or lose control.

This workshop also gives the important message that self-control is not a "moral" issue; it's a "developmental" issue.  Children who hit or bite when they're angry aren't "bad."  Self-control grows in stages as a child develops, and there are important things that child care providers can do along the way to support that process.  This kind of learning may be more challenging than simple strategies, but the rewords are greater and can last a lifetime.

The workshop format includes the use of video segments, large and small group discussions, lecture, and hands-on activities with workshop activities and ideas and suggestions that can help providers when dealing with children’s angry behavior.

The workshop attempts to fulfill these goals:

1. Help participants know that controlling angry feelings is a skill children learn from people who care for them.
2. Help participants understand that in order for children to find healthy outlets for anger, they must first develop self-control.
3. Participants to learn about activities that can support the development of self-control.
4. Participants to find helpful ways to intervene when anger or frustration overwhelms children.

Letter from Fred Rogers

Dear Friend,

Angry feelings are a natural part of being human; nevertheless, we don't have to hurt anyone or ruin anything when we're angry. Even as adults, we need to take a moment to gather our own self-control when something has happened to make us mad.

Unfortunately, our society is full of images of people not being in control of their own feelings, of people hurting one another when they're angry. It's so important that we adults help our children know we care about their feelings, but we want them to find healthy ways to deal with them.

Children aren't born with self-control. They learn it gradually as they grow from infants to toddlers to preschoolers -- and beyond. And they learn it best with the help of adults who have a loving relationship with them.

In this workshop, we hope you and your colleagues will find helpful ways to think about anger and self-control, our own adult anger and self-control, as well as children's. We have included suggestions for helping children as they develop inner controls; but, of course, there are no recipe books or magic words for feelings. Each child is unique... and so is each teacher, child care provider and parent. It's your support as the workshop leader which will help them blend the insight you offer with your participants' own instincts about the children.

It takes thought and emotional energy to work through our own angry moments. If that's what we'd like our children to learn, we're going to have to make it clear to them that we value being able to "stop" from doing something that may hurt; stop and then do something else instead that doesn't hurt anyone. Children will "catch" that message from us if we passionately believe it's important. And they'll want to make it their own, in order to become more like those they love.

Thank you for all you do to nourish the adults who are supporting children as they grow in healthy ways.

Sincerely,
Fred Rogers

If you would like more information about "What Do You Do With The Mad That You Feel", would like to set up a training, or for help in finding educational opportunities in your area... contact me .